But how would their lives have turned out had they taken the time to explore the red flags that were at least partially visible?
Facing pain can certainly refine us, but we don't get extra credit for walking into it, especially when it can be avoided. My hope is that many of you do move forward and make that promise for life. Some will say, "Since no one's perfect, it really doesn't matter who I chose to marry.
You've identified the other person's strengths, but have also discovered some traits that leave you scratching your head. Well-meaning friends and relatives might be inquiring about your love life, wondering when you plan on taking "the plunge." Your own sense of loneliness and that God-given desire for connection can nudge you further in a relationship until the steps toward the altar just seem to get easier and easier. But with so many of them urging you toward marriage, it's wise to pause and ask yourself some questions that might prevent heartache down the road.
In either case, you have probably found that many forces push you forward in your relationship. You need to decide what to do with this relationship; no other person can make that decision for you.
It is time for Christians to start talking about dating. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages. Here are 10 important principles for Christian dating. That would make God a gambler, and the Bible clearly says gambling is from the devil (only joking). Marriage isn’t as much about finding someone totally compatible as it is about committing to someone despites difficulties and differences. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. It allows you to jump into marriage with a clear conscience.
The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Perhaps you recently met someone who caught your interest, and you're hoping that with time you'll be able to discern if the relationship should move toward marriage. Even books on the subject of dating and marriage can convey a subtle expectation to keep moving forward: "Trust God," "differences are good," and "hey, nobody's perfect." All of that's true.
There are plenty of them, but let's focus on what I believe are the top five myths that make dating harder for Christian men.
Myth #1: "God has one woman picked out for you to marry.
As a counselor, I've spoken with people who didn't take the time to think through their relationship.
They acted solely on their feelings and tied the knot.